After a long time

 Hi my fav space,

I am sure no one else other than me going to read this page. And I don't wish too...

Every time I want to ask myself 'How I feel?'.. But I am scared to ask so.. I have travelled so ahead from that 18 year old who started this blog.. Its almost double the years and ye, I am quite successful in my career, like I always wanted to be. I am married to a good man and have two adoring kids. Life is good.

But somehow I am feeling so drained. I don't know why my eyes are filled, I don't know why I am so exhausted, I don't know why I clutch to my mobile and endlessly browse ..From what I am trying to run away..

I have changed a lot? No, I don't think so... Back then, I was very clear on what I want because i was always dreaming alone... I have never given anyone a space to dream with me...Yes, I was damn selfish, I know. So all the good and bad decisions affected only me. I took decisions on impulse, based on what I felt. And I don't regret too. That made me, that made my life. But now it is another equation which I feel so strange.

My Roots (Poem)

I may stand without withering,

Trying hard not to bend.

I may stand bright and enjoy the drizzles,

Washing away the dust and quenching my thirst.

I may sway for the wind,

Trying to wish for the song once I loved.

I may grow an inch or two,

But I know I will never bloom,

For my roots are never here.

I miss the smell of wet soil,

And the ecstasy it brings along.

I remember the fluttering of the butterfly,

And the love we shared.

I may go back once,

The wind will blow to touch my fingers.

I will never see those beautiful wings. 

But I can smell the wet soil again,

Again and again, till I forget everything.

 After a long time, I am typing again for my blog. This time I am sure I don't have any viewers, though secretly I wish for a few.

But Okay. If I don't fetch some words from my heart and put them here, I will forget all thoughts I had when I just finished the epic year 2020!.

Yes, I've just completed the year!

As the years' pass, I am getting more and more confused about what is right and what is wrong. I always believed it as a personal perspective. But now I feel it is not; our life is not ours alone. How much we try to argue, however, we try to prove, no, this is not a battle that we've to win alone. It's not a group song too.

Life is so intertwined, glued, and mixed it's so difficult to draw boundaries, it's difficult to say no, it's confusing to agree and love is not the only feel we crave for...

As technology barged into our life as a sweet unavoidable nuisance, we are flooded with information. Too much interpretation and too much exposure had made us, at least me, so confused. I see I hear I believe and later I get to know that I was being fooled to view a video to make me believe in something which was not true! 

I read news with total opposite perspectives which leave me baffled. What to believe! Sad to say, though we are bombarded with a lot of information, we tend to believe what we already believe...we just fetch information that makes our beliefs strong...even if it is something weird as Flat Earth theory!!!

So this is where I stand in 2021, 35 years old...still trying to figure out what exactly is right! :)

I was always behind this word...As we grow older we tend to find more things wrong. Is it because I am being a grumpy old aunty! Or is it simply because I find much drama useless!

Today If I am to post what I feel in Facebook it will be " Feeling Determined".


Last few days one quote keeps on resonating in my mind so much that it doesn't disturb me any more 
" One day you will wake up and realize that there wont be any more time left to do things you always wanted to do"


I have thought so much about this line. First I felt sad. I am a dreamer. Always dreaming for things I love, as the person I always want to be...And what if I have to go back from this world without doing anything?


Quite depressing. I felt stuck. But after some days I felt really positive about it. That's why I thought of writing it down. There will be many in this world who gets this kind of thoughts and gets depressed.
So here is the solution and from today I am going to pen down my actions to see if it really works.


Yes life is more over a trial and error game. So its ok whatever happened to your life so far. It actually doesn't matter at all. Many might disagree but its the truth. Its our own choice whether we have to move on or stick to the past. Lets be a clear paper first. First even I thought this as funny.


With loans, kid, family , job, commitments, and the mind that society created how will I be a clear paper to start afresh. All this things cannot be changed. Yes you may not say to Bank that I am starting again so wave off my loan, you cannot ask your baby or husband to give you space. That's not how you should deal it.


We should have one time table. Yes a simple time table to organize your time that you have enough free time. Ok lemme start with my own routine.


I am not a morning person to start with. I love my bed and pillows more than any other material comfort. I have a kid who goes to school by 7 45. My husband is abroad and I have a proper 9-5 job.
And I dream to be a writer, I want be in perfect shape, I want to drive my car, I want to be a perfect mother, perfect wife, perfect daughter, perfect employee and afterall a perfect positive person. Yes, I am going to start an experiment where I am given 90 days (three months) to a me whom I proudly love.


The one and only clause. I will not give up even if I couldn't do one or two days as I planned to be.


So here it goes:


Day 1 - Monday


Today Morning I planned to do so many things as being the first day in my experiment. But I got up late, missed kid's school bus, had to get an auto and drop him off to school before I reach office. I skipped breakfast and ate two Choco biscuits before I rush to office.


Reached office. Yes, I took the stairs. Saw a friend who started driving car. Talked to her and really got motivated. Planned to call and fix an appointment with driving school. Took one bottle water and started sipping. Took my office diary and jot down the to-do list for this week.


Not letting myself down 10 choclates +pista+cashew :D.


Any way food control wise it was not a best day to list out. Other than that it was an okay day. I had some work and one of my problem is I am very hesitant to give constant updates on my work status to others and very much reluctant to ask for help by mail or phone. If some one is sitting near I am very much okay to disturb but if not face to face. it is very difficult for me. That's one of the character which is not that good from my work point of view. " What others will think" is too ingrained in me , I don't actually realize at what all level it influence my character.


Enrolled my son to a music class in my apartment. He was kind of nagging me asking " Why amma, why r u not taking me to any music or drawing class!!! I thought I wont be a mom who drag my kid to every other class but what to do!!! Painting and skating are next in his list!!


Saturday and Sunday morning 7 30. Hope he will get up. Me too :D


Talked to hubby and I miss him badly. He is a kind of husband who would like to do all so called man's work ; daily shopping, house maintenance work, calling workers and somehow I found it really good and never tried to give a second glance. Now as he is not here, I am finding it very hard to cope up. Which makes learning to drive my first priority.


How to stop kid from watching TV? my boy love cartoons and evening I am having a hell of time to switch off that stupid box. I hope he will learn to manage TV time without making a havoc. Need to take him to eye doctor too. Some weeks  back we went for a check up and dr told me to consult an   eye doctor. Some says its better not to wear specs and some says ulta. I am confused.
As me and my husband have specs, I think it will be natural for him to get that problem. Let me see. Something I really dislike.!!


Ok Bye for Today.

I don't know why I decided to blog now. I am at the office and loaded with work. I've to go early as I've guests at home and plan for dinner. I am a bit cross with my husband over things that we don't both understand ;) To sum up I am like a fully messed up soul today with a no-sleep headache to accentuate what I feel.

Suddenly I decided to hear songs. I am not a music person nowadays because I feel it makes me very soft which in turn crash the strong image I am trying to build up. But might be because the black tea couldn't solve my headache I started playing a song..and I m in love with the music and lines. It's all about a pair just falling in love..and how they see the world, with a lot of happiness.

Pure is this moment, Before the desire blooms, 

When the unseen dreams start to frame 

Will this moment and your face will always be there in my mind every day

not to be forgotten ever...

It's so true, the most beautiful moment is the time just before we realize that we are in love, it so pure in all aspects.. without plans, without future, without family, without character dissection, without anything to worry. It's pure and peaceful. that's happiness.

We all live trying to get the moment back, get that excitement, that fluttering back. Or hoping that it is still there...

Nowdays I write only when I am upset and it really doesn't make sense...I ll be full of prejudice and biased if I write why I am upset...After a few days I will be perfectly fine and then I feel I am too silly to write all this way...or am I correcting everything into a nice picture..just like old me..i doono..if so I hate myself...

Rework

One more month winding up....From tomorrow I am going to start a new routine...simply to show myself that I am the same adamant me, who refuse to feel bad... :)


Plus I am going to brush up my dream...Dream of being a writer....To an extent writing blog helped me to get rid of feeling dead guilty.. But now i strongly feel about it.....there comes a time for everyone when we feel bad for staying in the safe cocoon....Not venturing what we want...


No..No..I am not going to resign neither I can travel to some flashy place and get the alone time to think and write...I do madly love my pay cheques and cant think of a day when I am not earning myself.. he he....But I am seriously going to do something about my dream....


To be very true I started writing seriously a few months back, when I was less busy at work....But later when I was rewarded with few prestigious assignments, I over enthusiastically forgot the 40+ pages and pushed it from desktop to my personal folder ...As the saying goes..out of sight out of mind....Days became week and week turned to be months...


And then, a beautiful day arrived....As usual I went to office carrying my dear lappy..Mid of the day I received a mail from my manger asking to upgrade certain software...Being a person who find all the interference in the work as something to be happy about....I closed all the work I was doing and started installing the upgrades...Growing bored with the "loading bar" I opened FB, online newpapers, few parenting sites ( my new addiction, easy to read on how to be a good parent than practicing all those thing real ..It doo make us feel good!! ;) )...I remember getting pop ups based on software updates where I have to say "Yes" "yes" and again " Yes"...Being so engrossed in the articles and fb pics, I simply gave yes to all pop up and then all of a sudden my screen began to blink and I could see many unknown files popping up...For one second I couldn't understand..Then it striked...Virusssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Yes, my poor system was attacked by a dirty malvirus (dnt ask me where it came from, I don't have the slightest clueee.. :( )


I was completely shaken...Being very responsible, I never use to save or update my work using crash recovery system..I moved it to shared folders only once its completely done...I trusted my machine so much and never thought such thing could happen to me....


Might be my intuition, even when my manager and senior collegues tried hard  to either remove the virus or to recover the data.. I was pretty sure, I lost everything that I stored...All the files were corrupted and cudn't decrypt it back..My mind tried to adjust with reality...As a final hope I took my system to our IT guy and waited with my fingers crossed. And then came the final verdict " Reimage the system..All the files got corrupted"..
Bhooommmm....


One side I have to redo my task which I could have moved to "completed " status soon...Other side I lost all the things which I have lovingly saved in my personal folder...including my "musings"


To sum up, I lost all my data in a wimps of second....hoooooooooooooo


Postive thing is I have a fresh slate to start...So here it goes..My toast to myself for becoming a wonderful writer... :) :) :) Feeling very sleepy ..Will catch you 2maro...

Poem: My glass wall

Alone in the darkness, trying to make words from my thoughts I wept
My cheeks were dry, eyes sleepy and throat hoarse


Why I broke my glass wall?


That saved me from hurt, guilt and tears
That made me say no when I heard loud yes from within
That made me laugh when I was confused
That made me sleep when I felt love
That made me cry when I am out of word
That made me angry when someone utter 'love'
That made me run hearing the word commit


My glass wall that saved me from the world of hurt
Oh! why I thrashed you away


Foolish me..


Thinking I don't need you anymore
Thinking I got the rock of my life
Thinking I got myself back
Thinking life is easy, I thrashed you, I dumbed you


Without you, I am bare, easy to get hurt, like a open wound
Scared to call you back, I am left alone

myself

I don't have any great memories of my school days...For me, it was a place where I was constantly evaluated, judged and marked....And not being a topper or outstanding performer, I never got the attention that I wanted...So naturally like all the mediocre feel I felt totally left out.. To be very frank I was too much pampered at my home that I never found anything that inspires me to like my school ...I just hated everything about it, even the blue uniform..I think I started reading books just coz I cud spend some alone time in library than being with my classmates...


It doesn't mean I was a loner..I do had some friends around...Might be because I was too demanding and bit possessive, might be because they found no value in keeping my friendship...Whatever it is, I was always heart broken for being too sincere unnecessarily ...I think it continued till I turned 16..I was getting too much depressed...I was falling into some dark hole that pulls me in...I was being too much sincere over everyone.......And never happy in the way others treat me..


Then I realized something very strange...Don't let anything hurt you..no person, no relationship..(family not included in the rule) For that, only one point we need to remember, never be too much sincere, never get too much attached, never be blind over any relationship...Everyone wanted to enjoy the time and feel good about themselves.., if you are a good entertainer, if you look attractive, if you look bold and if you know to appreciate others... people will flock around you......That was a new beginning ....I changed the way I live..the way I think..the way I behave...everything..In simple, I revamped myself...I started reading serious books, started writing, tried to experiment with my looks, got lot of good friends.....Later I understood a simple law of relationship....Its like loose sand, don't grip it too tight, it will definitely slip away.. :)..And I was very happy...


Slowly it became my nature, I never allowed myself to be attached to anyone..I was like floating and being happy for the moment rather than trying to build a relationship that last for a life time...I drifted away if I think anyone is getting too much possessive about me...or if I feel I liked them a bit more than I am supposed to be.....I was scared of getting hurt again...I was such a happy being that my friends never doubted me...I was always there most trusted person..a very good companion and secret keeper....As I grew old I got friends who were so true that I sat down and wept alone in the dark thinking about my incapability in being sincere like them...I simply lost it somewhere...For me it is the key that unlocks the door to unhappiness....And I didn't want to risk my happiness, my peaceful existence with something unknown....There was a glass wall that I built around me...which protected me from getting hurt...a glass wall that is visible only to me.,..


Then one day I found my man...I broke that glass wall because I thought I no longer need to be scared of loosing this person ...he is all mine..


Yes, from that day... from the day I started loving him..i am getting hurt..i am crying everyday...I am feeling lost again..I became that little insecure girl in the class...away from the secure home...away from the family...who badly wants support..


When my heart is pure it hurts, if not it will never know pain...

I was on my way back from work, totally irritated at the traffic block and thinking anxiously on what to make for dinner. An aggressive road seller literally banged at my window, asking if I want the toys they made. I just glanced on my phone n avoided looking up..then again she banged , I waved my hands jestering I don't want..still she stood there showing the yellow teddy bear..I was disgusted thinking ' How could I buy a road selling teddy to my baby, it will have all the dust n he even might get an allergy...And what about the mateial its made off..No way am going to buy it...And who will be foolish enough to buy this' Cutting my thoughts, she again banged, this time more loudly,.."Oh! This I cant stand I have to scold her that she wont irritate anyone like this anymore!!" I rolled down my window with all the anger I could feel and then I saw two little eyes staring at me..only I noticed a bag like thing she attached to her saree and a baby was whinning softly from inside...it was a small baby, may be few months old or less...coated with dust and tired, might be crying for food...and was looking at me..I searched for my purse and meanwhile the signal changed ,  hones honking around me.. and I had to pull of my car...


I reached home..and when my son came running and wrapped his arms around me...I know he see all the goodness in me ; all the goodness as me...and what was left in me was pure guilt...

I am no longer the person who read newspaper everyday or watched news channels with keen interest...I try to excuse myself with the reason; "I have a small kid and don't have to time".. But inside somewhere I know that's not the reason...I get totally disturbed reading/watching/hearing all this and just feel bad the whole day thinking how useless I am...






We know about corruption, we know about discriminations, we know about unethical practices, we know about violence (thanks to the over enthusiastic media!!!). Everything we know yet we act as we are just clueless about the mad world where we live.. ..Why people forget that's its the humans that's is responsible for all these activities and simply cant shrug that responsibility off the shoulder.




Yes, I am living in Kerala and I know its a safe cocoon...Here, we have a bunch of very practical, educated and politically well informed crowd.. Of course corruption is there, mentally perverted people are there, extremists  are there...Still when compared to the rest of India I believe we are in a very safe place..

I was reading about the recent incident where a Phd student committed suicide (after seeing the reference in one of my friend's FB post)...It's not the news that caught my attention (we are now used to hear n number of suicides and no more its a thing that can make us worry...its a personal choice, what public has to do about it!!!) But the letter he wrote.. I am sure everyone of us, at least once in life must have definitely went through that kind of emptiness, which he mentioned...I was scared, at one point of my life, of being plunged to that black hole, so I stopped reading/watching/hearing news.....Whatever we see now, whatever we try hard to achieve, whatever to we try to teach children, whatever we feel it as love...everything is kind of fake now...I don't know anyone in my life whom I can call as completely fair in their actions...its all biased and worst is we have learned to accept everything as normal...corruption, violence, anything we can now take in with a cup of tea....Going back to a system where we really give importance to values rather than customs and beliefs is very very far...and I doubt if it ever existed... When a daughter feels happy only when she gets dowry, saying that's how princesses wed, whom is to be blamed? When a boy bias a dark colored girl to a fair girl saying its my personal choice, whom is to be blamed? When we sideline people who speak out what they feel, whom is to be blamed? When showing sympathy makes us feel good, whom to be blamed? When we try to protect our religion, saying who else if not us, whom is to be blamed? When we categories people on what they eat rather than what they think or act, whom is to be blamed?

#Parenting# How to handle a toddler Part - 1 - Introduction :D

Parenting is a subject that I have never touched in my life when it comes to writing..Might be becasue after being a mother I never got time to sit and type about what i really think about it...

Today I have some spare time and I have a bad feel about scolding my baby for a silly thing, which I could have avoided...But sometimes, you know, we tend to forget they are so small and new to everything that we have introduced to them...

I was always short tempered when it comes to people who are close to me and as obviously my son being the most suitable person with that crietria, i really get all fumed up when he do something against my 'plan of action'.. Thanks to all the people who are super cool around me, I can rarely show that to him..It will seriously affect my image as the dotting mom and next time he gets angry to anyone, I am sure to get a glance saying " Ha, this is exactly what you do" :D

I don't know about others but even when i am considered as a super cool person outside, after being a mom, i read tons of articles regarding anger management!!! And i still read all that comes across me regarding parenting..I really wanted to be the the best mom ever..he he..Who doesnt?

So i thought i will write something that made me feel good of doing as a parent...

• Express your love (As i am kind of expressive person and being pretty good at it, it is easy for me :p)
• Appreciate them for all the little things they do. For them it is big and mostly the first time :)
• Talk to them as much as you could (Believe me, no books can be that funny and creative)
• When they try to talk to you, even if its something silly and you are busy with something very important, listen to them, and give them a reply.
• If you want to avoid them, dont tell to go away or that you are busy...Give them some task that will occupy them..or ask them to sit with someone who is equally dear... or if nobody is there, nothing wrong in letting them watch their cartoon for sometime while you finish your work..Don't simply avoid them and let them play alone.
• Don't express anger by shouting or hitting (Sometimes i forget but still i try to control it to the max. When you are angry and want to scold them for some wrong thing which you dont want them to repeat..simply stare at them for sometime and walk away...I strongly believe it works 1000% better than shouting..When we shout, they just don't understand what we speak, they simply get scared, then sad and then they might feel we don't love them...(I tend to shout only when I am in a hurry and really short of time to stare and walk away ..lol..:D)....When you walk away they will come to you or sit silent. Then after some time when they try to patch up with you, tell them you felt bad and being mom's dear don't repeat it. At first, its difficult but if you practicse it for few days you will definitely see a huge difference.
• Dont let them watch violent natured movies or ads or cartoons. They are not ripe enough to understand what is right or wrong. When they find that their parents are keenly watching  that kind of actions, they try to imitate it. It is simply because they will take it as something good.
• And, I personally think it is better to grow childern as intolerant to violance rather than making them feeling violance as a part of life. 
• I got a real feel of the extent of tolerance the kids have towards violence when I went to watch the movie - Bahubali, which is an epic movie. While i was literally keeping my eyes closed to avoid so many scenes, i found that the 7/8 year kid who was sitting next to me watched all that violence without blinking his eyes. And to be very frank it scared me. I like when kids (adults too) get upset seeing violence. That's what we have to teach them. Not to be strong enough to sit and watch a person being beheaded. They should be strong enough to feel bad and express that they are upset seeing all this.

Okyz that for today...I started to write something nice and ended up saying something that always disturbed me..I donno how to tell the world this except to scribble here..After being a mother, I am nowdays too sensitive :D

Yes, that's what exactly happens. I always think it is the same every day but when I look back, forget the things around me, even the person I was before no more exists in the same way. But as my favorite saying goes "everything happens for good" and what is that " good" element it is up to us to find... :D

It's been quite a long that I typed anything here. But as a kind of routine, I used to take new year's resolutions to write something and this year has no difference, except that I didn't dare to put anything to paper. So it was all in my head, to write a diary, to continue blogging, to work on my dream project, to read new books, to travel, to simply sit gazing at the sky, wishing for a shooting star to pass... (the last one was  not in my list ;) let it be, at least that I can put a tick mark at the end of the year :D)

So 2016 is here!

This year is/will be quite special and a bit confusing for me. More than the word confusing it should be..eh..anxious..ok let it be. Yes, I am anxious, that's not a big deal for the reason I got because my hubby consoled and almost convinced me saying it is very common. Sometimes I feel he tries to generalize all my worries too much (his way of consoling) that I too find my thoughts getting drowned in the crowd. :(

Ok, the thing is I am turning 30 and being a girl..oops. Sorry, a woman who still find it quite difficult to accept that I am married and mother of 3 years old, the "30" sounds a bit too ageyy ( I know Microsoft that there is no such word and I think it is perfectly fine to tweak words to express myself a bit more nicely. So I am not going to change that word even if you show me that red line :D )

Hurray, it worked!!! I was trying to see if I could export my old blog content here...just for horror and it worked!!! And the funny thing is now I have in total 106 posts and almost 75 in draft status...I have to check how come I have so much in draft status? :D

So lemme go and sort it out. I feel like I got a trunk full of my old things to sort, to touch and remember, to feel a bit sad and to feel more and more excited :D

I Will b back soon... :)

I was reading an interesting blog when I suddenly remembered about my page. Life makes us so occupied, things once we considered important, change to something we hardly remember.

Anyway, as many times I did, I promised myself to write something here as a journal of my thoughts and not of my life but still, I may mix up things ;)

I was thinking of what to write today. Should I write about Beef Ban that the media rocks with talk shows and verdicts or, should I share the article about working mom or the importance of having a healthy diet...ha! This is what I like about blogs. I can write whatever I write, people may or may not read it and I can always stay anonymous :)

But, what worries me is how easily we get influenced by the media. Sometimes good and sometimes bad. People don't have time to understand and analyze anything that happens around them, they only want to sound knowledgeable in the crowd they belong to. The easy short cut is to watch the talk shows and have an idea about the controversies happening around and speak somewhere as a person who knows everything with all supporting figures and facts.

Based on the channel you watch, your opinion is created. Based on the political party that supports the channel, the same incident is tweaked, twisted, and aired. Even the so-called discussion guest, talks based on what exactly the particular channel wants. It is just a scripted episode of a "show".  Even if we call newspapers biased, this kind of hooligans can't show off like they do in visual media.

The audience needs only news and facts. Why dumbing the opinion on us. Let the people get some space to think rather than pushing the people who watch the show with analysis and opinion. And being a crowd who always cry busy, we are simply gulping the food chewed by someone else and speaking it as tasty or bad based on some other's opinion.

Let us learn to think by ourselves!

i am here again

Hi,

its been really long..i really missed writing..last few days i was pondering whether i should start writing blogs again...i started writing wen i had lot of free time in my clock and in my head..now life  is different..very rarely i get time for myself even to oil my hair forget blogging...today i accidentally saw a post i wrote on my 22nd bday n felt really amused ..:)..now am 28 with a cutie pie sleeping near me and head that worries on breakfast menu, baby food and dark circles...:)

i donno if anyone will be interested to read what i feel, what i think n what i write but i do need a place to express what goes in my head and heart....i missed writing here n really wish to b back in my scribbling mode..:D

wishing myself a good day n good life

:)hope to b back soon

November 1

I fell in love with him in the first sight itself.. I could feel the cords inside me strain when I heard his voice first..my eyes were moist and I was sure that pain has nothing to do with it..in life there r some moments which clearly express the meaning of some words.. For me the exact word was' overwhelmed' ...I was overwhelmed with joy, excitement ,surprise,tension and fear..my son..my little prince ...

Post Created Feb 1, 2012 12:54:13 AM

Again I am in bus n Luckly got a side seat.. I love traveling.. But the thoughts of pending work at home spoiling the thrill ;)
It's getting dark so quick..I m little scared to go home alone from bus stop... But today I have to .. My kutty ego ;)
My lips are getting dry coz of this cold weather.. After a long time I talked with my friend n felt strange .. Earlier I used to b d same way I talk but now am finding hard to get a match between my thoughts words and action..earlier I was bold n strong .. Now am giving up , starting to feel timid , insecure and worried ... I don't like me this way.. I am being a dependent nagging silly girl which I really hate to admit.. Hmm.. Hope all this is a passing stage n soon I ll b back to myself...:) till then I am making myself and my sweet hubby suffer hehe ;)

a day

I am married .. Before ten years that words meant nothing to me other than a new dress n jasmine garlent stuck to my short hair.. as I grew up marriages turned to be colorful crowd and later it was something sweet that waits for me.. Last few years it was a horror coz my family looked at me and sympathized about being 24 and single...last few months it meant love and excitement .. Finally I m here married ...ye an Indian working house wife....

Now , I am in bus traveling back from office..I was preparing a small grocery list in my iPhone .. N seeing so many " sale" boards around I miss my single days...Reached my stop .. Bye for now ..

Back from home

Hey, I am back from home...

Back from home or back to home... Too often my FB status shifted between these two that finally none of my friends bothered to comment or like..;( but for me its always a double like...:)

Bus reached late and i was too happy to finally have a genuine reason to take leave ;)

With a book in one hand and remote in other hand i am winding up this afternoon ...

Ye it reminds me that i am back from the safe cocoon of my home and watching all these nonsense happening in our " great" nation.

i am feeling so bad that i am in a corrupted and timid world where everyone waits for another to act and react...why we all are taught to be scared???...i really wish for a change, like many...

At least we should have the courage to speak what we believe even if we cant go to the extend of strike and protest like Anna Hazare...Today whole nation making a big cry over Anna Hazare; media celebrating it with live telecasts- dramtic protests and reactions...i already got dozens of mails from different social activist's communities asking to vote /sign/join different demonstrations....

But tomorrow the same media will hype some cheap Bollywood gossips in the same way and we, people will be busy with our own life to bother what happened yesterday...

I think we are taught too much to adjust ,that we are getting used to every sort of stupidity ..we ve learned to move on with our lives untouched by what 's happening around us..

With our eyes closed why should we shout for a change?

As the famous saying goes " we should be the change that we wish to see"...If we all express ourselves truly and stand for what we believe rather than too much compromising we can build a better world to live in...

Let the people protest and demonstrate , the ones like me who don't have the opportunity or situation for that can bring in changes in our own small small ways ...

Do something to bring hopes to our fellow beings ...

All this faking should go...All this timidness should go...we should guard our own self respect,ethics and courage to fight for what we believe...Then only the true change happens....

B'lated Happy Independence Day!!!

Post Created Aug 15, 2011 8:08:47 PM

It was truly one of the most interesting day in my life...not Aug 15 but few days before.. I finally found out why I couldn't memorise the poems or quotes i like...



I understood why I always drew road maps to friends who asked for direction rather than explaining verbally...and why I prefer to recollect things as images to words....

I am a Right brained human !!! :) ..



My dear roomies, this was why I am extra careless n disorganized ;) ..actually I felt so relieved , science does solved many years of my confusion that asked " why I am like diz?" though not 100% hehe....

I do remember my friend's comment " don't attribute your laziness to poor right brain ;)