Today If I am to post what I feel in Facebook it will be " Feeling Determined".


Last few days one quote keeps on resonating in my mind so much that it doesn't disturb me any more 
" One day you will wake up and realize that there wont be any more time left to do things you always wanted to do"


I have thought so much about this line. First I felt sad. I am a dreamer. Always dreaming for things I love, as the person I always want to be...And what if I have to go back from this world without doing anything?


Quite depressing. I felt stuck. But after some days I felt really positive about it. That's why I thought of writing it down. There will be many in this world who gets this kind of thoughts and gets depressed.
So here is the solution and from today I am going to pen down my actions to see if it really works.


Yes life is more over a trial and error game. So its ok whatever happened to your life so far. It actually doesn't matter at all. Many might disagree but its the truth. Its our own choice whether we have to move on or stick to the past. Lets be a clear paper first. First even I thought this as funny.


With loans, kid, family , job, commitments, and the mind that society created how will I be a clear paper to start afresh. All this things cannot be changed. Yes you may not say to Bank that I am starting again so wave off my loan, you cannot ask your baby or husband to give you space. That's not how you should deal it.


We should have one time table. Yes a simple time table to organize your time that you have enough free time. Ok lemme start with my own routine.


I am not a morning person to start with. I love my bed and pillows more than any other material comfort. I have a kid who goes to school by 7 45. My husband is abroad and I have a proper 9-5 job.
And I dream to be a writer, I want be in perfect shape, I want to drive my car, I want to be a perfect mother, perfect wife, perfect daughter, perfect employee and afterall a perfect positive person. Yes, I am going to start an experiment where I am given 90 days (three months) to a me whom I proudly love.


The one and only clause. I will not give up even if I couldn't do one or two days as I planned to be.


So here it goes:


Day 1 - Monday


Today Morning I planned to do so many things as being the first day in my experiment. But I got up late, missed kid's school bus, had to get an auto and drop him off to school before I reach office. I skipped breakfast and ate two Choco biscuits before I rush to office.


Reached office. Yes, I took the stairs. Saw a friend who started driving car. Talked to her and really got motivated. Planned to call and fix an appointment with driving school. Took one bottle water and started sipping. Took my office diary and jot down the to-do list for this week.


Not letting myself down 10 choclates +pista+cashew :D.


Any way food control wise it was not a best day to list out. Other than that it was an okay day. I had some work and one of my problem is I am very hesitant to give constant updates on my work status to others and very much reluctant to ask for help by mail or phone. If some one is sitting near I am very much okay to disturb but if not face to face. it is very difficult for me. That's one of the character which is not that good from my work point of view. " What others will think" is too ingrained in me , I don't actually realize at what all level it influence my character.


Enrolled my son to a music class in my apartment. He was kind of nagging me asking " Why amma, why r u not taking me to any music or drawing class!!! I thought I wont be a mom who drag my kid to every other class but what to do!!! Painting and skating are next in his list!!


Saturday and Sunday morning 7 30. Hope he will get up. Me too :D


Talked to hubby and I miss him badly. He is a kind of husband who would like to do all so called man's work ; daily shopping, house maintenance work, calling workers and somehow I found it really good and never tried to give a second glance. Now as he is not here, I am finding it very hard to cope up. Which makes learning to drive my first priority.


How to stop kid from watching TV? my boy love cartoons and evening I am having a hell of time to switch off that stupid box. I hope he will learn to manage TV time without making a havoc. Need to take him to eye doctor too. Some weeks  back we went for a check up and dr told me to consult an   eye doctor. Some says its better not to wear specs and some says ulta. I am confused.
As me and my husband have specs, I think it will be natural for him to get that problem. Let me see. Something I really dislike.!!


Ok Bye for Today.