I was on my way back from work, totally irritated at the traffic block and thinking anxiously on what to make for dinner. An aggressive road seller literally banged at my window, asking if I want the toys they made. I just glanced on my phone n avoided looking up..then again she banged , I waved my hands jestering I don't want..still she stood there showing the yellow teddy bear..I was disgusted thinking ' How could I buy a road selling teddy to my baby, it will have all the dust n he even might get an allergy...And what about the mateial its made off..No way am going to buy it...And who will be foolish enough to buy this' Cutting my thoughts, she again banged, this time more loudly,.."Oh! This I cant stand I have to scold her that she wont irritate anyone like this anymore!!" I rolled down my window with all the anger I could feel and then I saw two little eyes staring at me..only I noticed a bag like thing she attached to her saree and a baby was whinning softly from inside...it was a small baby, may be few months old or less...coated with dust and tired, might be crying for food...and was looking at me..I searched for my purse and meanwhile the signal changed ,  hones honking around me.. and I had to pull of my car...


I reached home..and when my son came running and wrapped his arms around me...I know he see all the goodness in me ; all the goodness as me...and what was left in me was pure guilt...

I am no longer the person who read newspaper everyday or watched news channels with keen interest...I try to excuse myself with the reason; "I have a small kid and don't have to time".. But inside somewhere I know that's not the reason...I get totally disturbed reading/watching/hearing all this and just feel bad the whole day thinking how useless I am...






We know about corruption, we know about discriminations, we know about unethical practices, we know about violence (thanks to the over enthusiastic media!!!). Everything we know yet we act as we are just clueless about the mad world where we live.. ..Why people forget that's its the humans that's is responsible for all these activities and simply cant shrug that responsibility off the shoulder.




Yes, I am living in Kerala and I know its a safe cocoon...Here, we have a bunch of very practical, educated and politically well informed crowd.. Of course corruption is there, mentally perverted people are there, extremists  are there...Still when compared to the rest of India I believe we are in a very safe place..

I was reading about the recent incident where a Phd student committed suicide (after seeing the reference in one of my friend's FB post)...It's not the news that caught my attention (we are now used to hear n number of suicides and no more its a thing that can make us worry...its a personal choice, what public has to do about it!!!) But the letter he wrote.. I am sure everyone of us, at least once in life must have definitely went through that kind of emptiness, which he mentioned...I was scared, at one point of my life, of being plunged to that black hole, so I stopped reading/watching/hearing news.....Whatever we see now, whatever we try hard to achieve, whatever to we try to teach children, whatever we feel it as love...everything is kind of fake now...I don't know anyone in my life whom I can call as completely fair in their actions...its all biased and worst is we have learned to accept everything as normal...corruption, violence, anything we can now take in with a cup of tea....Going back to a system where we really give importance to values rather than customs and beliefs is very very far...and I doubt if it ever existed... When a daughter feels happy only when she gets dowry, saying that's how princesses wed, whom is to be blamed? When a boy bias a dark colored girl to a fair girl saying its my personal choice, whom is to be blamed? When we sideline people who speak out what they feel, whom is to be blamed? When showing sympathy makes us feel good, whom to be blamed? When we try to protect our religion, saying who else if not us, whom is to be blamed? When we categories people on what they eat rather than what they think or act, whom is to be blamed?